Six Degrees Society founder Emily Merrell reminds us that there's no such thing as a friendly ghost. Below, she breaks down the difficulties of saying “no” and counters with five tips for the next time you need to decline.
Have you ever dreaded declining an invitation? I sure have. I’ve felt guilty saying no to bachelorette parties, weddings, dinner invites, trips, coaching, business proposals, and so much more. I want to DO it all, but sometimes life’s circumstances have other ideas. It wasn’t until I was sending out wedding invitations of my own that I realized that a “cannot attend” was almost as exciting as a “yes” RSVP.
It dawned on me––why as human beings does saying “no” to something cause us such heart palpitations? I’ve sent out MANY email proposals on working together only to receive silence in return. Too scared of hurting someone’s feelings or disappointing them, we’ll ghost instead.
Is ghosting the new “no thank you”?
I'm here to share with you my 5 tips on how to set boundaries and better expectations in relationships so that you’ll never ghost or be ghosted again.
1. Be Honest: If you’re not sure of a proposal or not ready to commit to something, communicate that accordingly. You will save a lot of resentment by being upfront.
2. Be Clear On Where You’re At: Whether personally or professionally, let the other person know what’s happening in your life and let them know that you are turning down most social invitations at this time and will get back to them on their offer in a timely manner.
3. Manage Expectations: It’s easier to manage expectations by putting a measure of time behind things. Ask for a week to look things over before giving your response, then reply.
4. Be Gracious: If something isn’t the right fit personally or professionally or doesn’t fit in your life, thank them for their time and outreach. Keep those bridges intact.
5. Not Right Now Doesn’t Mean No Forever: Set an expectation for your timing. Perhaps the opportunity doesn’t fit your “right now” schedule, but ask them to follow up in the future.
You are responsible for your actions as well as the actions of notifying others of where you’re at. No one is a mind reader, so manage accordingly.
Xx,
Emily
